Since it’s already out of the bag…

All the roles will be in Mayaguez.  Sorry for the confusion.

So I’ll be at Mayaguez sans school work with most of my friends while getting paid? Sounds good to me!

I got to meet the other 3 Co-op-ers,  and they’re all pretty cool people… to say the least… *cough*. And now Honeywell wants to get together with us for “Happy Hour”, and according to two of the co-op-ers who’ve already worked for Honeywell, it does involve alcohol. The task of chosing where to carry out this Happy Hour falls on us. Should be intersting. That’s not until next Wednesday, though, so I’ll let you know how it goes.

The Hunnywail investigation

I’m pretty sure that by now Ipsum has kept us all entertained with his adventures in the world of Honeywell. Will he make it? Can he dodge the beaurocrats? Can he find his resume? Will he keep himself organized for more than 20 minutes? But as I read, another question popped in my head. What is, indeed, Honeywell? We all know it’s a company, but what does it do? I decided to search the world of the internet in an attempt to uncover the secrets of the Honeywell, what is its role in our lives, and why do they need the l337 Programming skills of Ipsum so badly. Here’s what I uncovered:

 

The canopy that could

Last Sunday, during the afternoon, I was hard at work on a project that was due the next day. As is customary with most programming projects, Apox was my partner, and, as is also customary, we left work on the project for the absolute last minute… we were starting work on the project. We’re incredibly awesome when it comes to that kind of stuff, though, so we had more than enough time . In fact, we were done a whole 4 hours before the end of the due day. Anyhow, this isn’t what the story is about… no, not at all. This story is about how one’s life can suddenly seem like it was taken right out of a movie script, the not-so-everday occurances that stay locked in one’s memory.

They live here

You’ve been warned.

Reference

I feel bloated

Seriously. I’ve had bad gas all this day. I’m burping more than Homer Simpson in his best day. Really, I feel like I’d go into the pool, and be unable to dive with everything keeping me afloat. My younger brother could use me as a flotation device. COME ON!!! I’m 20!!! I feel like I’m falling apart already! I think I can jump and hang for a few seconds in the air. And I haven’t touched a soda. I barely even drink soda. What the hell is going on? Did my body just suddenly had the urge to go on a balloon imitation joyride?

I’m sorry, I had to induce a fart. I’m no pig, but this was ABSOLUTELY necessary. I was even avoiding sharp objects with the fear I would pop. The fart was about 12.4 seconds long. I could have heard Beethoven’s 5th while farting to the music. And in tune too. Wow, I felt it was never going to end. I walked out of my room and it was like having jet propulsion coming out of your ass. Should’ve had a skateboard to see how far I’d get on that alone.

No, no smell. As I said, it was gas, clean, odorless, natural gas. Should’ve stored it. And that makes me wonder. Is the gas we fart and burp affect the atmosphere considerably? I mean, sulfur dioxide, the smelly fart gas, is a greenhouse effect gas. Hmm, that needs further thinking. Imagine 6 billion people farting daily. Wow. Someone, research that.

Well, aside from that, I must say I feel better now. I throw a sigh of relief. Aaaaahhhhhh. There. Now I don’t feel like a blimp. I think I’m gonna go have a Dr. Pepper now.

Viaje around the world with cheese

In my refrigerator, down in the “Crisper” container, next to the lettuce, live some tiny, humanoid creatures. I know not what they call themselves, but, for lack of originality, and for the sake of simplicity, I refer to them as “The Refrigerator People”…

More Honeywell news. Yay.

Hi Andrew,

We have not yet placed you into a specific job. I will send you more information about your role when it becomes available.

Are you interested in meeting with members of the Honeywell team on October 4^th in the early evening? We have a group traveling to town for the UPRM Career Fair.

Best Regards,

Shane

Waah? “When it becomes available”? So even they don’t know what I’ll be doing. Now that’s scary.

Concerning Award Shows

It has come to my attention that out of the blue, award shows are suddenly showing up on every channel of every american television. WTF is going on. I mean, I was sitting happily on my couch watching the movie Hero on Spike TV when I see yet ANOTHER consecutive award show announcement, Scream Awards. Isn’t this the channel that hosted the Video Game Awards a few months ago? Are these two even related?? And didn’t I sit through, forcibly, another goddamn award show a few weeks back? I’m talking about MTV, that between Movie, Music and (God!) Music Video awards, it’s giving away more gold than what Paris Hilton has worn in her lifetime.

Honestly, where is this going? I have a feeling that soon I’m going to be watching MTV’s Reality Show Awards, where will see awards going to the bunch of assholes that deceive millions of americans each day into thinking they’re actually “living in real life and coping with life’s problems” when they read from a goddamned script everyday. That’ll be great, I’m sure. I can see it now: “And the award for the most lifelike show goes to: Who wants to be a superhero?. And then there will be bloodshed as I kill every fucking living reality show producer on this face of the earth. Hell, might as well do “Award for best fake crying moment”. Now THERE we will have good contenders.

A completely out-of-the-blue text message from Iguana Lola

“Una vez atrape un pez azul y parecia un perro con orejas grandes que cayo en el carro de mami ayer.”

Translation:

“I once caught a blue fish that looked like a dog with big ears that fell in Mom’s car yesterday.”

This and that

Realizing that you “corrected” something that you actually had right on the test you took last night (knowing that it’s going to cost you 15 points) during class forcing you to have to fight back the urge scream some expletive very, very loudly, sucks.

Having to get up after a mere 4 hours of sleep to go to play an alto saxophone in a marching band at a parade for a university that celebrates its every-singleth anniversary since it’s creation under a scorching, unforgiving sun while wearing a tacky combination of a white polo with green polyester pants, sucks.

Being struck down with two weeks worth of projects and tests, preventing me from posting on PeanutCup for you, our beautiful readers, sucks.

Losing at Fight Night 3, FIFA, and Age of Mythology one after the other, sucks, as does trying to get a LAN game going to no avail for over an hour. As a side note, some Norse tips would be very appreciated. Also, please do not relate this bullet to the previous bullet, as it gives the impression that I am but a lowly hypocrite.

Being randomly electrocuted by your laptop, sucks. No, seriously, my laptop keeps attacking me. Would any of you know why the hell it does that? It doesn’t seem to be anything dangerous, and it doesn’t happen that often, but it happens. I’ve heard of Dell laptops suddenly bursting into flames, and mine happens to be a Dell, and the idea of my lower body being anywhere near my laptop if it explodes is rather frightening. 

Writing a post with no clear direction, IS AWESOME!